Dear Abby: Guilt keeps spouse in marriage to man battling with PTSD

Dear Abby: Guilt keeps spouse in marriage to man battling with PTSD

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DEAR ABBY: i have already been hitched to my better half for 17 years. After many years, we knew he previously some despair problems. A decade ago, after he had been identified as having PTSD, he stopped working and has now been in the home from the time.

We work full-time, settle the debts, look after the kids, run the errands, drop the youngsters off at training, clean your house, every thing! He does absolutely nothing but rest. He remains during sex for several days at a stretch and showers once per week. We now haven’t slept within the exact same space in 5 years.

I’m so lonely. We hate being hitched to him, and I’m perhaps perhaps not sure exactly exactly how their despair affects my children. He takes medication but does not want to notice a therapist. I do want to keep and also a life. I’m stuck in this wedding away from guilt. Exactly exactly just What do I do? — HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HAD IT: Make a consultation on your own with an authorized health that is mental to talk about your circumstances and your shame. Please repeat this just before have psychological or real breakdown through the stress you might be under.

For your children’s sake — because you are all they have while I sympathize with your husband’s mental problems, the fact that he refuses to do all he can to fix them tells me it is time to take care of yourself. Because your husband’s meds are no longer working, he need to have mentioned that fact years back towards the physician that has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For the friend’s birthday, we sent a $150 food distribution present card, saying to place it toward dishes whenever I visited for three times the following week. He called, said I had been “cheap” and said it absolutely was maybe not really a “gift” if it included cash that might be used on myself.

We have been brand new buddies and also have never ever exchanged gift suggestions. Please help me to comprehend if I became improper. — MEANT PERFECTLY IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You made a mistake that is honest. Nevertheless, everything you did was less improper than your brand-new friend’s ungracious reaction, that was simply simple insulting. Regarding the next gift-giving occasion — if you’re nevertheless friends — send him a novel on etiquette, only for him.

DEAR ABBY: a trip is being planned by me to go to my buddy in England. We learned abroad couple of years ago, and I’m excited to go back to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

We got very near to this buddy while I became here, and then we talk on Facebook every so often. Clearly, due to the distance, we aren’t best friends, but we nevertheless give consideration to ourselves “trans-Atlantic siblings.”

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I’m on a fairly budget that is tight like to start preparing for costs. Wouldn’t it be rude to ask her if I’m able to stick to her? Or can I simply request suggested statements on places to remain to check out if she provides? — TOURIST IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: if she suggests it while it wouldn’t be rude to ask, I vote for the latter option and see. (She will probably.)

Abigail Van Buren

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